Santa's Little Helper

 

you dont know what it's like working for santa claus 
have you ever closely examined the poor little reindeer paws 
have you ever gone to the northpole and seen the factory life 
have you ever interviewed mrs. claus (aka wife) 
you dont know what it's like working for santa claus 

you don't know what it's like filling up candy jars 
the tedium of index and thumb on gum 
leaves some with mental scars 
and no job is ever as sweet as it sounds 
the belt in his hand proves he's mean all around  
and you dont know what it's like working for santa claus 

santa has one clause and this is it: 
once one is hired one may never quit. 
santa takes the joy out of christmas 
to be fired, to be fired's at the top of my wish . . . list . . . 

no matter what the season whether snow falls freezin or thaws 
the sound of no laughing, drill bits, hammers and saws 
while visions of sugarplums dance in your head 
im lucky if in three days mine touches a bed 
and you dont know what it's like working for santa claus   

the rose in his cheeks; a rouge for his flaws 
a muzzle for dominick the donkey (hee-haw!) 
oh christmas is cool, i work for a good cause 
it's just i cant stand santa claus

 

 

 

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